Find A Formula For I X The Increase In Probability Marriage Advice: Eight Steps to Marital Harmony

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Marriage Advice: Eight Steps to Marital Harmony

The formula for marital harmony and success is not a mystical secret. It’s actually pretty straightforward.

The “behind the scenes” part is the constant work required to keep the channels of love and communication clear of obstruction. Diligent spouses consistently spend time and energy addressing problems as they arise so that anger and hurt feelings don’t accumulate.

Couples who want a satisfying marriage also find ways to keep their love strong, such as remembering to show affection and appreciation frequently. They know that the more connected and bonded they feel, the more motivated they will be to solve problems and stick in when things get tough.

The following eight steps will guide you to see what you can do to increase your chances of creating a happy, harmonious marriage:

1. Work on yourself and your issues that you brought into the marriage.

Many of the reactions you have to your husband’s actions go back to your childhood. If one of your emotional wounds is feeling disrespected, you’ll experience a strong reaction when your partner inadvertently triggers those feelings. Individual counseling can help you become more self-aware of what’s behind your intense reactions and what you can do so you don’t overreact to your marital problems.

2. Avoid blaming your partner for problems in your marriage.

Blaming only makes the other person defensive and angry, and it reduces the likelihood that you both can find a win-win solution to your problems. When you focus on blaming your spouse for what’s going on in the marriage, you’re planting seeds of resentment that can hurt the relationship. A marriage is made up of two people, and each contributes to the quality of the relationship and shares responsibility for it.

3. Be empathetic and put yourself in your partner’s shoes when problems arise.

Try to understand where your partner is coming from when you disagree or when your partner does something you don’t understand. Ask your spouse to talk about your feelings. Listen respectfully and ask your spouse to clarify anything you don’t understand. Develop a curiosity to learn more about your spouse’s feelings and pay special attention to creating an emotionally safe environment for discussions with your spouse.

4. Find ways to make your partner’s life easier and show your love.

Many of the worries and stresses in modern day life come from the little things — the extra time it takes to clean up on the way home from work or put clean dishes in the dishwasher. When you see some work or task that you can do to save your partner time, offer to do it.

Look for opportunities to give your spouse a few minutes of rest or downtime. See what you can do to pamper your partner when you can. It’s often the little things that can make a big difference in marital happiness and satisfaction.

5. Express appreciation often and say “thank you” as a habit.

As the months and years go by, many spouses neglect to express gratitude or say “thank you” to each other. Many spouses complain that their partners only focus on what they do wrong and never praise them.

It’s sad to think that the one person who means the most to you might wonder if you appreciate them. Let your spouse know often how much he or she means to you. Give compliments and compliments freely, and express gratitude for all your partner does to enrich your life and marriage.

6. Apologize quickly and sincerely, taking responsibility for your part in whatever happens in the marriage.

The truth is that sometimes saying “I’m sorry” is hard. When it’s time to remember the question, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?”

Accept that things don’t always make sense in a relationship and confusion and misunderstandings can easily occur. It’s a sign of maturity when you can say, “I’m so sorry for my part in what happened between us.”

7. Keep interests, hobbies, and activities in your life that you enjoy so that you are not thrown off center if you have a fight or conflict with your spouse.

It is important to have your own interests and activities that can help keep you grounded and balanced if other areas of your life are depressed. This way, you can easily regain a sense of perspective and be able to cope with ongoing stress.

For example, if you and your spouse are facing some rocky road in the relationship, you can go for a long bike ride, go fishing with a friend, visit a museum or read an interesting book. Those activities and interests can add joy to your life to help balance temporary problems in your marriage. You’re always ahead of the game when you know a few ways to lift your spirits.

8. Find fun activities and bonding experiences to share with your partner.

Be on the lookout for activities that you and your spouse can enjoy doing together. Search the local newspaper for plays, concerts, new movies, museum exhibits, neighborhood fairs and festivals, and new restaurants advertised. Laughing and having fun is bonding and can help create those “Kodak moments” that are so much fun.

Also look for activities that represent causes you and your spouse believe in, such as helping a local charity at a garage sale or volunteering together at a local soup kitchen. These experiences can help remind you of what you have in common with your spouse and how great it feels to work together with a common goal.

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