Find A Closed Formula For 1 2 0 3 T Helping Kids Handle Rejection and Disappointment

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Helping Kids Handle Rejection and Disappointment

“Fall down seven times, get up eight times.” -Japanese proverb

One of the keys to functioning socially and emotionally is the ability to cope with disappointment and rejection.

Most children experience some form of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. A study found that popular kids were also rejected about a quarter of the time when they approached kids at school.

Most children recover from such rejection. They thrive and form constructive, meaningful relationships, but some children need help. They often take rejection personally and blame themselves. As parents it is helpful to challenge children’s helpless thinking and encourage them to explore new friendship opportunities. Parents can help children understand that rejection can happen for any number of reasons unrelated to them.

Children will also face many challenges and obstacles during the school day. They may struggle with some school work. They may not do well in tests and may not be selected for the sport they want to play. Children become stronger when they overcome their difficulties. The challenge for parents is to build and maintain children’s confidence to help them get through difficult times.

One way to help children cope with rejection and frustration is to talk through problems or difficulty identifying and accepting their feelings. Talk about different scenarios surrounding the event, discussing possible outcomes. The age of the child will determine the amount of detail. Keep things simple and don’t burden a young child with concepts he doesn’t understand.

Your attitude can make a big difference in a child’s response. If you see rejection or frustration as a problem, your child will be hindered by this approach. See them as challenges and your child will, in all likelihood, pick up on your upbeat attitude and handle disappointments with ease. After all, confidence is catching!

Try the following four strategies to help children handle rejection and disappointment:

1. Model optimism. Watch how you present the world to children, they take your point of view. If you think they can’t handle this shock you’re right – they probably won’t. Children take their cues from their parents so make sure you have a positive explanatory style.

2. Tell the children how you handle disappointment and rejection. Not only is it reassuring for children to know how their parents feel about them, but they can learn a lot about how their parents handle situations.

3. Help children identify past times when they bounced back from disappointment. Help them recognize that some strategies can be used again.

4. Laugh together. Humor is a great coping mechanism. It helps put the frustration into perspective. It helps them understand that things will get better. They always do.

Now take this short resilience test about your child.

How resilient is your child?

he does

1. Bounce back when things go wrong? Yes 2 No 0

2. Rationalize disappointment and rejection instead of taking it personally? Yes 2 No 0

3. Take a positive attitude when faced with challenges? Yes 2 No 0

4. Pat himself on the back when he does a good job? Yes 2 No 0

5. Let the little things spill over and ruin other parts of his life. Yes 0 No 2

score:

10: A flexible child. He’s the backup when things don’t go his way.

6-8: A hardened spirit.

0-4: Probably too hard on itself. Need some help to lighten the load.

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