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2 Ways to Discover Your Raison D’Etre – Reason For Being
Raison D’Etre is French for the reason, or purpose, for the existence of someone or something. Every person comes into this world with a purpose, a unique talent to achieve that purpose and an inner wisdom to guide the way. It is a birthright. without exception. Since everyone who walks this earth exists, you would think that everyone knows their purpose in life. Unfortunately many people are disconnected from their raison d’etre and spend their life energy and time feeding themselves and their families but their souls are starving.
We don’t live in an either/or world. We live in an “and” world. You can do both. Simply put, the reason you are here is to express your full potential using your unique quifts. You’re here to tap into the intuitively driven passion that achieves the purpose of bringing your unique gifts out into the world—in detail. For those who feed their soul, make their heart sing, work is play and each day is an opportunity to express to the world who they are, what they are here to do. Life seems to go smoothly. Even with the ups and downs, twists and turns, life is full and worth the ride!
For those who live aimlessly, feeling like they ‘should’, life can be exhausting and unfulfilling, even if successful. Those who have turned their backs on their raison d’etre feel like something is missing and will sometimes joke that they still don’t know what they “want to be when they grow up” in adulthood. If you struggle to find joy, energy, and satisfaction in your work and in your life, you are living with purpose. You are not living in alignment with who you are at your deepest core. Chances are you don’t even know what your unique talents are, let alone use them. The funny thing is, most people don’t see what their special gift is because it comes so easily to them. They think it’s so easy and effortless that they can do it so well that they think everyone can do it. They don’t feel that this unique talent is their birthright with which to express themselves and build their lives around.
“Seek the wisdom that will loosen your knots, seek the path that demands your whole being.” ~ Rumi
There are two simple ways to get a glimpse of who you really are and your unique gifts to share with the world:
1. Think back to your childhood. Who do you admire or aspire to be? Was it a famous person, book or movie character, relative or teacher? Who scared you, made you stop and pay attention? Once you got to know this person, what characteristics of this person impressed you? Were they brave, funny, larger than life, strong, loving, independent, giving, smart? What did this person or fictional character call out to you? List as many features and functions as you can.
For example, as a child I was fascinated by a character I saw on TV in a movie called “Auntie Mame”. Auntie Mame was a woman who was eclectic, fun, fashionable, surrounded herself with amazingly unique creative and talented people, traveled the world and experienced fun and fascinating events in her life. She lived a life full of experiences and advised others to do the same. Oh, how I wanted to be an auntie! However, I didn’t see myself as extroverted enough to put myself ‘out there’, to take risks and stand up for who she is and what she believes in. As an adult, I reconnected with my truth and now live a life centered in the truth of who I am, enjoying rich delicious experiences, surrounded by a wonderful eclectic group of talented people and mentoring others to live their lives richly in whatever that means for them. .
Who you want to be, what speaks to your soul as a child, is a mirror of who you are. Love what you see in that person or character because it is a reflection of you! Let your inner Auntie Mame, the ninja warrior, express your hero in your life.
2. What gives you energy? Think about a time when you were ‘in the zone’. You were fully present, in the moment, fully enjoying whatever you were doing, without any sense of time or space. You are completely focused and bursting with creativity. These ‘in the zone’ experiences are windows to see your special gifts, your unique talents. You are energetic, firing on all cylinders. These are the moments when you are fully expressing yourself.
“The best thing you can do is be good at yourself!” – Dennis the Menace
As an example, here’s an anecdote about Krista Vernoff, head writer and Emmy Award nominee for the television show, “Grey’s Anatomy.” Although she loved to write, Christa thought she should be an actress. She believed she had a better shot at making a living as an actress than as a writer. Several well-meaning relatives, worried about his career choice, suggested bar-tending to him. She is very good as an actress and was making a living in that craft. Still, he couldn’t tear himself away from writing. Writing came so easy to him that he didn’t give himself much credit as a writer. “You have to work hard for a living” and she was definitely working hard to become a working actress. For Christa, being an actress was exhausting! The writing was playful, what she did for fun, what she did to feed her soul. Success as a writer was always certain.
One day at a play a fellow actor noticed that Christa would run to her dressing room to write when she wasn’t needed on stage. Most of the actors stayed on stage while Christa was offstage where she could write. Once a fellow actor comments on this upside-down situation, Christa realizes that if she’s going to live a fulfilling life, she must accept and respect who she is—a writer. By the end of the play’s run, Christa had devoted her life to expanding and expressing her raison d’être—writing!
When you commit, give your full attention and energy to being firmly focused on the truth of who you are, life is magical. You have fed your soul, you are whole. As a whole person, you have inner resources to give to others whether it is through your craft or through your presence in their lives. You have the energy and desire to share yourself with the rest of the world. You live on purpose, in the field, and tap into the passion and wisdom that is yours and yours alone. This is what you are here to do. Find ways to spend more time doing things that get you ‘in the zone’.
If you’re not satisfied or fully engaged in your life, you have a choice. Will you remain committed to this unfulfilling life or will you discover and commit to your raison d’etre. A fulfilling life begins when you step outside the outer threshold of your comfort zone. The choice is yours.
“Say who you are and what you feel. Likes don’t matter and those who matter don’t.” – Dr. Seuss
Copyright (c) 2009 Valery Satterwhite
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